A few weeks ago my babysitter decided to go on vacation. While her family was off somewhere where the sun shines bright, there is always a salty breeze in your face and girls walk around in bikinis I got to take the week off and tend to the baby. I was officially taking a staycation. In the few weeks leading up to my staycation, I actually anticipated having the time off. In the three years since I’ve been out of college, I have never taken a full week off.
I also decided to take a few days that week and have the inside of the house painted. It turns out that even when hiring people to paint for you, painting the inside of your home is one of the single most stressful jobs you can undertake. All furniture has to be stacked in the center of the rooms, and everything was ripped from the walls. Window treatments that nearly drove you to insanity the first time you hung them are now being taken down and will soon be hung all over again. Shelves and pictures that you spent hours aligning and leveling once already are being removed and soon enough will also have to be remounted on the walls. It’s a horrible ordeal.
Then there was Lainey. Lainey is used to spending all day with other little critters just like her. There is always someone’s hair to pull, a toy to steal or a hand to gnaw on when Lainey is at the sitters. Sadly, I’m just not that entertaining and being at home with dad all day must be a horrible drag for her.
All week I watched Lainey weasel her way into anything that could burn, cut, smother, poison, crush, mash, choke, electrocute or completely obliterate her. That week I watched her get stuck inside our TV stand and get lost behind the couch. I freaked out as she took a few tumbles off the bed, chomped on a mangled beetle she found on the floor next to the washer and sucked on the shoelaces of my stinky tennis shoes.
Lainey has so much energy that no one seems to be able to keep up with her. Her own grandparents seem hesitant to watch her at times. My wife has always marveled at the unparalleled amount of energy I have, but my child has me beat. I have no problem grabbing five hours of sleep a night, getting up bright and early and working the day away, but this kid even wipes me out. I need a vacation from my baby. Thank God I’m back at work.
Check out these pics of Lainey playing with sharp things near poisons, sucking on a video game and struggling with all her might to get to heavy things that could smash her bundled in plastic bags that could smother her!
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